chrysanthemum

DIFFERENT STYLE OF COMMUNICATION

Men are from Mars women from Venus. They are really different, body (of course), up to the way of thinking, feel and so on. Although men and women really different in some many ways, they related each other and have complex relationship. Take a look at many differences between them, there is one way that can connected them one another. Communication. Men and women have different style of communication. It is getting deep when they already engaged in marriage.

People think that the real habit of somebody appear when they already married. Everything about our “partner” (wife or husband) from A to Z we can see here whether it is good or bad. Why? Because we spend our whole life time with him/her. Then if two head become one (marriage) of course in facing the new world together problems will coloring their life. Again, here communication is needed between the couple. According to Deborah Tannen’s You Just Don’t Understand there are some facts (problem) that always occur in marriage and they dominated by non-verbal communication between couples related with the issue of gender and relationship. This is reflected also in John Steinbeck’s The Chrysanthemums.

The Chrysanthemums is set in Salina’s Valley in winter.

“…like a lid on the mountains and made of the great valley a closed pot…” (par 1)

Elisa and Henry Allen own a ranch, where Henry takes care of the cattle and Elisa looks after their home and works on her flower garden and works on her flower garden which consist of the gorgeous chrysanthemum that she really takes pride in. Elisa become the center of the story. Elisa Allen is a lonely woman who enjoys growing and also nourishing her chrysanthemum. Since her husband is always working in their farm, she never has enough attention or any kind affection.

In this short story tell that Elisa is a woman capable of doing many things but she cannot show her skills due to the social implications imposed on her by the males of society. Elisa’s figure is described as “blocked and heavy”.

“… She was thirty-five. Her face was lean and strong and her eyes were as clear as water. Her figure looked blocked and heavy in gardening costume, a man’s black hat pulled low over her eyes…” (par.5).

Elisa can be seen as Elisa can be seen as unhappy with her female role, and her unhappiness as a woman has led her to try to take on both more masculine activities and to put more fervor into the feminine tasks she already does—when she is pruning the chrysanthemum stalks,

“…her face was eager and mature and handsome; even her work with the scissors was over-eager, over-powerful..”(par. 6)

Men are generally described as being “handsome,” and the adjectives used to describe Elisa’s activities reflect the personality of someone who is either incredibly strong.

The communication between Elisa and Henry is not good enough. They can live together but actually they cannot understand each other. So that’s why Elisa describing as a lonely women that unhappy with her marriage. The flowers (chrysanthemum) here reflected Elisa. Then we can see Elisa’s mind about Henry’s utterance about her “pride” chrysanthemum.

“…I wish you’d work out in the orchard and raise some apples that big.” (par.12)

It shows how only little interest that he has for her chrysanthemum that reflected herself. Then as shown here Elisa does not feel appreciated by her husband. Henry absolutely do not know about this. Although his ways of doing things might sound like a better way, his wife needs as a woman are being smothered and her spirit would die. It is hurt her as a women. We know that due to Tannen, women needs support and sympathy to do all the things in her life especially from their close people. So that women can feel being appreciate and loved by her husband or close friend.

The traveler, unlike Henry, is able to gain access to Elisa’s garden and therefore her heart as well. The traveler, unlike Henry, is able to gain access to Elisa’s garden, and therefore her heart as well. Although the appearance is not the greatest, she is interested in him. Why? The reason is that he shows interest in her “pride” chrysanthemum in order to persuade her to find something for him to fix. Again, the connection there is that he was interested in her flowers that reflected herself.

“Kind of a long-stemmed flower? Looks like a quick puff of colored smoke?” he asked. “That’s it. What a nice way to describe them.”(par.52-53)

With this response, she now feels appreciated and attractive to the stranger. Furthermore, the traveler pretends again, tells Elisa about someone that like flowers too but does not have any chrysanthemum in her garden. Of course as the same flower lover, she wants to share her some seeds of chrysanthemum and put it in a pot and give it to the traveler. All his compliment to her about the flower lead her to feel obligated to allow him to fix her pots.

"Here. Put it in your wagon, on the seat, where you can watch it. Maybe I can find something for you to do." (par.79)

His manner changed. He became professional. "Good as new I can fix them." At the back of his wagon he set a little anvil, and out of an oily tool box dug a small machine hammer. …(par.80)

Elisa does not realize that the traveler just pretend about that and cover all of it with the compliment about flower. Just pretend. Sometimes if we are feel appreciated with someone, we could not see what’s behind.

Other miscommunication between Elisa and Henry when he ask Elisa to have a dinner to town as celebrating the sale of the cattle. Elisa in a good mood after meeting the traveler. Then, she prepare her best dress and performance indeed. Henry sees his wife change surprisedly.

"Why--why, Elisa. You look so nice!"

"Nice? You think I look nice? What do you mean by 'nice'?"

Henry blundered on. "I don't know. I mean you look different, strong and happy."

"I am strong? Yes, strong. What do you mean 'strong'?"

He looked bewildered. "You're playing some kind of a game," he said helplessly. "It's a kind of a play. You look strong enough to break a calf over your knee, happy enough to eat it like a watermelon."

That is not the definition Elisa wants to hear she wants make he knows that she is strong of spirit not muscle. Henry tries to compliment her in a way that he believes will appease her, she actually takes offense. There is a misunderstanding between them. In this case Henry tries to says his surprise of the changing of his wife but in a men style. But, his wife cannot accept that. Henry supposed says his compliment in other way that can make her truly notice his meaning. On the way to Salinas for dinner with Henry, she find the chrysanthemum that given to the traveler on the road without the pot. Her heart is broken.

Her face was turned away from him. "It will be enough if we can have wine. It will be plenty." She turned up her coat collar so he could not see that she was crying weakly--like an old woman.(last paragraph)

She just realize that the Traveler attentions to her and her flowers was false. He only wanted to flatter her into giving him some business.

At least the the short story really show us how women and men both have a different way to expressing their own feeling each other. Not every willing can show in a language or orally. Body language also take a big part in men and women relationship. In this case husband-wife. We cannot prevent this kind of problem (misunderstanding etc) but in this case we learn how to knowing our wife/husband well in order to finish the problem that could appear in a relationship.